Skip to main content

One week to go

Sound a klaxon! Bang a drum! Shake a rattle, for it is 2024 and somebody has actually started a blog. The good people of blogger.com will be beside themselves with excitement that this has happened, as I can only assume that nobody has done such a thing since before most of them joined the workforce.

I have bad news, though, for their annual bonus. This blog is going to be for one night only: election night 2024. As has been my custom for every general election from 2010 onwards, I will be staying up through the night and will be live-blogging the whole affair, watching a range of TV coverage and pontificating about everything from the BBC's choice of graphics to the fact that any constituency I haven't heard of must be made up on the night.

It may not become a source of deep political insight, but for the night of 4-5 July 2024, this blog will make fun of politicians standing in empty sports halls, journalists desperately trying to stir up interest in drone footage of cars, and campaigners repeating slogans while their careers die behind their eyes.

So, please come back here then, and join the fun.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hour 8 (4am-5am)

4.02am Suella has retained her seat. More bad news. But Bristol North West has been retained by Darren Jones - the Labour candidate, who had my vote - with ITV greeting this as 'Laura Saunders unsuccessful'. Since she was suspended after gambling on the date of the election, this wasn't a surprise. Over to Basildon & Billericay, where the Conservative chairman won his seat by a mere 20 votes, with his victory being met by almost total silence: he is not popular locally. Over in Boston & Skegness, David Dickason has 'deport all illegal immigrants' in the name of his party. Despite such an offer, Richard Tice has won the seat for Reform, standing in front of a sign saying "Boston ...a great past, an exciting future." Fact checkers are flocking. Also flocking is Rishi Sunak himself, heading to a provincial sports hall just like he's one of us. "We don't want to cut away" says Laura K, since we don't want to miss the money shot of...
Post a Comment
Read more

Hour 3 (11pm-12am)

  11.04pm Star of previous election nights, Professor Sir Lord Captain John Curtice, has been booted into the bowels of the studio with a host of screens and a guy with a headset who looks a bit like a guy I used to work for. The BBC also have cameras in Boston, but no one was eating Dunkin Donuts so far as I could see. C4 have started talking to random people in a room somewhere. A young Reform voter is there and seems to have started growing a moustache at around the time the exit poll came out. The roving microphone lady - in a fetching green suit and very red hair - exclaims "are you Welsh?" at a guy who is, indeed, Welsh. She's also found two best friends: men who are far too old to have best friends, if I'm honest, and are excited to say they disagree with each other but are weirdly reluctant to say which party they've each voted for. Both, in fact, have flipped parties. Simon & I would have been a much better pairing for that interview. "You look l...
Post a Comment
Read more

Hour 4 (12am-1am)

  12.09am Flicking between the channels, I keep catching a second or so of Moulin Rouge on BBC2. I hate that film. But, Come What May, I'll keep you up to date with hottest news and most tenuous puns I can muster. "I think you're living in a fantasy land, with respect" Mandy tells a Reform chappie, who is wearing a matching tie and pocket square. I don't know how far apart they are - physically; I'm sure they're far apart politically - but the BBC is only showing them in two separate camera shots. That's so we have enough space to see a woman in a startlingly yellow jumper counting votes in Brighton. Reform guy says Labour is a party for metropolitan people in Islington, which is rum given that Islington North might well be one of the few seats they're not going to win. Sunderland Central, the forgotten cousins of the Sunderland area, have joined the declaration fun. They Wear it well. The same story we're used to: Labour win, but Reform surpri...
Post a Comment
Read more